Coin Jazeera has been exclusively invited to cover the launch of Crypto’s newest community project: “Buterin.org,” a pro-industry Crypto publication designed to highlight the varied uses of Blockchain Technology and Ethereum tokens for the betterment of humanity. The project is being lead by none other than global humanitarian thought leader Udi Wertheimer, known for being one of Crypto’s most leading and unbiased visionaries on tolerance, inclusivity, open-mindedness, and peace and love within the community.
I wanted to bring together the best minds of our community for the promotion of a globally inclusive Crypto ecosystem. Projects such as Ethereum, TRON, EOS, and XRP represent the best chance we have to educate the world on the merits of this liberating Blockchain Technology.Udi Wertheimer
The website already has a comprehensive list of pro-Ethereum and open minded contributors including: Samson Mow, Peter McCormack, Nick Szabo, Dan Held, Safidean Ammous, Tone Vays, Jimmy Song, Willie Woo, Nic Carter, Peter Todd, Tuur Demeester, Vortex, and Jack Dorsey.
The creation of this valuable resource comes hot off the tail of the launch of the new Crypto site Nakamoto.com, a pro-Bitcoin site run by some of the most enthusiastically vocal Bitcoin supporters such as Roger Ver, Vitalik Buterin, Kyle Samani, Dan Larimer, and other longtime, faithful, and unwavering supporters of BTC.
We asked Wertheimer for further comment:
“Balaji Srinivasan and the contributors for Nakamoto have done so much for the community, this is my way of giving back to them.” Our reporters thought we heard him mutter “motherfuckers” under his breath, but we must have been hearing things. “With the launch of Buterin.org, we will be highlighting and showcasing some of the best aspects of Ethereum such as the outstanding success of proof-of-stake, the awesome and impressive scalability offered by Plasma, the value of premines in fair token distributions, and let’s not forget about that immutability! I can’t wait to share and evangelize this awesome technology to the whole world for more global inclusion!” he said with a mischievous smile.
Mr. Wertheimer claims the site will be launching with the following hard hitting thought pieces:
- “Why a Lower Ethereum Price Increases The Security of The Network” by Dan Held
- “Successful Flawless Governance in The Modern Age: A Study of the Ethereum Foundation” by Udi Wertheimer
- “Why Keynesian Economics Works Perfectly for Ethereum” by Jimmy Song
- “How Ethereum Can Create Global Financial Inclusion with Oppressive Regimes such as North Korea and Iran” by Samson Mow
- “The Case for a Child King: How Things Get Done Quicker When One Person Is Totally In Charge” by Nick Szabo
- “DeFi: The Intellectual’s Way to Gamble with Ethereum” by Tuur Demeester
“I thought these articles would best represent the amazing and revolutionary Ethereum project to the whole world,” claimed Wertheimer.
Our reporters have also learned that Arthur Hayes from BitMEX Research will be writing a guest article called “How to Successfully Short Ethereum” to teach the global financial community how to appropriately participate in this viable and growing ecosystem and what to do with their ETH.
Mr. Wertheimer has also informed us that he will be creating an ultra-exclusive Telegram group moderated by contributing members of Blockstream including Adam Back, who he felt would be the most appropriate person for the job.
When we asked Wertheimer why he was feeling so altruistic he said “I wanted to show the Ethereum community the same respect that they’ve shown me over the years.” as he rubbed his palms together with a wry smile.
We here at Coin Jazeera applaud Mr. Wertheimer for his selfless contributions to the betterment of the Crypto community and for creating more global financial inclusion. We could use more people like Udi out there.
This article is satire and for entertainment purposes only.