ETH 2.0 Launches, Nobody Cares. 
Vitalik Scraps Ethereum 2.0 to Audit Supply of Ethereum, “Biggest Challenge Yet” 
White Founder Vitalik Buterin Steps Down from Ethereum Foundation, Replaced by Black CEO 
Hopeful Crypto Investor Devastated After Halvening Halves Bitcoin’s Price 
New Court Documents Reveal Craig Wright ACTUALLY IS Satoshi Nakamoto Kik Founder Sentenced to DEATH for Securities Fraud
BREAKING NEWS: This morning, Sunday 6/9/2019, Ted Livingston, Founder and CEO of thinly veiled prostitution…
Block.One EOS Announcement Leaked; “We Got Away With It.”
BREAKING NEWS:Earlier this evening, Coin Jazeera special correspondent Pepe Grenouille accidentally stumbled upon the leaked…
Winklevoss Twins Duped Yet Again, Facebook’s GlobalCoin Conspiracy
Last week Gemini founders and perfect human specimens, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss met with Facebook…
Blockchain Playboy Jeremy Gardner Tries to Rehabilitate Image
This article is satire and for entertainment purposes only. The infamous playboy Jeremy Gardner, famous…
Furry Convention Outperforms Consensus NYC 2019
Last week our reporters attended Consensus 2019 in NYC where we paid thousands of dollars…
Ethereum Development Halts After Vitalik Discovers Sex
Ethereum was originally a fever dream in the mind of a young Vitalik Buterin in…
Justin Sun Arrested, Illegal TRON Gambling Network Shut Down
On Monday morning during Consensus 2019, marketing hypeman and shameless self promoter, Justin Sun, gave…
Coin Jazeera Partners with The Block to Create $120k/Year Paywall
Coin Jazeera Press Release: (5/12/19) Coin Jazeera is proud to announce our big New York…
Binance Reorgs, Undoes Reputation
There are concerns if we do a rollback on Bitcoin. It may have negative consequences…
Federal Reserve Conspiracy and Phil Potter’s Tether Scam
On Thursday, New York Attorney General (NYAG), Letitia James, also known as “NY’s Baddest Bitch,”…